noun. Coolness; adj. Cool and crisp

By Cold, and by a kinde of Frescour (as we now-a-days speak).
Bacon’s Life & D. (1627)

OED says noun, but there are some wonderful ways to use it as an adjective as well.

The first four letters of frescour are the same as those in fresh for a reason. Frescura is Italian for “having the quality of freshness.” Frescour is something so fresh that it’s cool. It’s like biting into a fresh cold cucumber. Frescour seems to carry with it the meaning of “crisp” as in a crisp cucumber, but frescour has the lovely coupling of texture and temperature.

Now say “frescour cucumber” ten times fast.

This morning was a rather frescour morning. Fall has finally started; the days are getting colder, the clouds stay in the sky longer, the ugly-sweater-gift-from-last-Christmas is making appearances. The weather channel says it’ll be a frigorific 57°F tonight (very cold for those who have only ever lived in Southern California). Brrrr!

adj. Blameless

[the Church] shold be holi and without blemish, or rather Amomous..that is irreprehensible, safeguarded from the bitings of Momus, one of the feined Gods among the Gentils.
Theologica Mystica, John Pordage (1683)

What do you mean, Mr. Pordage, when you say the church should be amomous? Are you saying it isnt!?

Apparently this word is borrowed from Greek word for blameless, amomos; how convenient! It’s a shame it hasn’t been used in so long. So many unamomous people claim to be amomous, you’d expect someone to say amomous. And why not? It’s fun to say!

My parents always thought I stole the cookies from the cookie jar, but I was entirely amomous. It was my imaginary enemy. Damn you, Roderick.

adj. Really really fat.

So that to a man that is meatefyed in flesh, and whose state (in this world) is desperate, a Sergiant may serue instead of a Deaths head, to put him in minde of his last day.
Jests to Make You Merry, Thomas Dekker & George Wilkins (1607)

It sounds like something you’d say about something you plan on eating, don’t it? “The cows are looking very meatified already. Looks like we’ll be havin’ hamburgers a little earlier this year!”

Or perhaps it refers to someone who eats way too many hamburgers. Or other meat. The steak and bacon diet… not recommended. I do, however, recommend this word as an insult. Use it wisely.

Are you mortified of becoming meatified? No worries. Just send me all your money and you will become thinner in no time!

adj. Offal-eating. (One who eat the edible parts which are cut off in preparing the carcass of an animal for food)

In a Dog, and other offivorous Quadrupeds, ’tis very large.
Physico-theology, William Derham (1713)

Someone who only gets the scraps that no one else wants is offivorous. It’s not great to only get scraps. I don’t want the shavings, I want the meat! Not some awful falafel offal … give me a hamburger! NOW!

Sorry, I haven’t been eating a great variety lately. It’s been a while since my last hamburger. My local Subway doesn’t — thankfully — give me scraps of meat, so I’m not offivorous.

Not everyone  is offivorous by choice, of course. Some dogs are offivorous. The ugly twin that lives in the attic and eats mostly fish heads is offivorous. The passengers sitting at the back of an airplane after all the good meals have been taken are offivorous.

Who else might be an offivore?

adj. Of or belonging to surpassing depth or profundity.

Sink down into the Hyperbyssal, Supersensual, Unsearchable, Eternal One.
Behmen’s theosophick philosophy unfolded, Edward Taylor (1691)

How the heck am I supposed to talk about a word that means “beyond profound”? I’m not profound. I’m not even just plain ol’ found. Confound, maybe. What’s beyond profound? Postfound? Superfound?

Anything else I can say has be lost to the hyperbyss of space. Maybe we can use hyperbyssal to refer to space. Space is pretty profound; hard to wrap your brain around anyway. If space is infinite, that means there’s a parallel universe somewhere with a parallel me writing this blog… but he is profound. He makes me hyperbysmal in comparison.

Even thought I can’t be profound about it, hyperbyssal is a pretty rockin’ word. Not to be confused with hypabyssal; that’s a kind of rock.

adj. That makes money in any possible way.

Those quomodocunquizing clusterfists and rapacious varlets.
The discovery of a most exquisite jewel, Sir Thomas Urquhart (1652)

There’s a ten dollar word, if ever I heard one. Take the next minute or two to practice pronouncing quomodocunquizing.

Good. Now that you’ve mastered that you’ve taken the next step necessary to become a smart-soundy-talker.

If this word were shorter (damn you modern people and your desire for short words) it might be all over the place in today’s news. There are plenty of people out there working odd jobs and even jobs to make some extra cash in this economy. If I were to shorten it for you hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobians it would probably be, um, cash-whore.

Are you and quomodocunquizer? How’s that working out for you?

adj. Risqué, indecent; also bizarre, unusual.

I can no longer endure this ostrobogulatory behaviour.
Ostrobogulous Pigs, A. Graves (1952)

Ostrobogulatory is derived from ostrobogulous, a word attributed to Victor Benjamin Neuburg, a British writer. According to him, the word meant “Full of rich dirt.” The uses of this word (and derivative forms) in the OED are flavouriferous and make me gumfiate with glee. Here’s my favorite.

‘Ostrobogulous’ was Vickybird’s favourite word. It stood for anything from the bawdy to the slightly off-colour. Any double entendre that might otherwise have escaped his audience was prefaced by, ‘if you will pardon the ostrobogulosity’.
A. Calder-Marshall (1951)

I’m going to preface most of my conversations now with, “If you will pardon the ostrobogulosity.” Or maybe I’ll add some graffiti to public restrooms saying “For an ostrobogulous time, please call…”

Have you had any ostrobogulatory experiences lately? Why not? You can’t get all the ostrobogularity you need from the internet, you know.

adj. Fatty; causing fatness.

The pinguiferous slice from the salted swine.
Tait’s Magazine (1855)

If you had told me before that McDonald’s food was pinguiferous, I totally would’ve avoided it. I’m trying to keep my slim figure. I’m holding up a picture of my slim figure to the keyboard right now so you can see it.

As you know from your classical language studies, pinguis is Latin for fat. From that we get this splendid word and a few less nonce-y (but equally rare) words you will read shortly hereafter.

After glancing over McD’s malnutrition information, I find that their food is also pinguid, pinguedinous, and pinguefying. I had no idea that the company had such a super-sized McVocab.