O, the Pope could dispense with his Cardinalate, and his achage, and his breakage.
Queen Mary, Lord Alfred Tennyson (1878)

My stomache, dude, major achage. I did a little Googling to see if this word is actually in usage… not really. Sure it’s a nonce-word according to the OED, but some of these words sound like slang that the young folks are using. I saw a couple uses spelled “acheage” but not a whole lot as it is listed in the dictionary.

I thought it would be more common. The “-age” (as in blockage, baggage, plumage) ending isn’t all that rare. I was wrong. I admit it. I had a thought and it was incorrect. I apologize. I’ll try to never be wrong ever again.

Consider using this word the next time you need to call in sick. “Sorry, can’t come to work today. I have some achage in or around my epididymis.”