Nay, if you be no better in the Reare then in the Van I shall make no doubt to vanquish, and vanquash you, too, before we part.
Dick of Devon (c1626)

The OED is boring. The definition there is “To Smash,” but that doesn’t really conjure the meaning I think of when I hear vanquash. It conjured the word vanquish (to deafeat, conquer) along with squash. If something has been vanquashed, it wasn’t just smashed, it was annihilated, (Check out Charles Hodgson’s excellent post/podcast on annihilate), hence my definition of SMASHTICATE.

It’s a very useful word, especially when describing incredible feats and defeats in history. Remember when the Rebels blew up the second Death Star? Empire got totally vanquashed.

For though your beard do stand so fine mustated, Perhaps your nose may be transfisticated.
The letting of humours blood in the head-vaine, Samuel Rowlands (1600)

Talk about a bad-ass word. I have a sudden urge to make a western-style movie solely for the purpose that the hero can say “You best be leavin’ now, or I might hafta transfisticate yer face in.”

If ever you threaten someone, always aim for the bigger word. That’s like slapping someone in the face with a dictionary. Figuratively.

If you literally slapped someone in the face with a dictionary you’d have no need to actually speak any words after. Unless you used a pocket dictionary… that wouldn’t do much damage. Be sure to use at  least a collegiate, unabridged is preferred.

Sometimes using your language can be a better solution than your fists.

I soon found my sisters, who were taken into a house during my pugnastics.
His reminiscences, Henry Angelo (1830)

No, it’s not a pug doing gymnastics. As entertaining as that would be (alas, YouTube returned no good results) that’s not what this word is about.

I’ve always been a fan of the word pugnacious, and I enjoy this word by association. Pugnacious people do pugnastics. Just as gymnacious people do gymnastics. You know, gymnacious… flexible. Makes sense, yeah?

Have you noticed that  I like to make up words? And they will all catch on in popular culture some day. And if you say otherwise, I might have to go pugnastic on your ass.